These are the toughest creatures in Cachagua. Don't let the cute, fuzzy, cuddly exterior fool you. They are pure evil. Be careful not to look directly into their eyes either. They can cast a hypnotic spell on anyone that makes eye contact, causing you to fall prey to their telepathic commands. When handling this one, I needed to wear special reflective goggles to keep his mind control powers from forcing me to release him.
Skeptical, are you? Well, here is a fact I bet you didn't know. 
The hardest material known to man is not the diamond, as is commonly thought. It is the summertime clay soil out here in Cachagua. A 50 lb digging bar will bounce right off the surface in July. There is nothing known to man harder than Cachagua clay. Take a look at this shot of an auger I use to drill holes into the earth. The highlighted spot shows a hardened steel tooth worn round. It used to look like the other one just below it. Cachagua clay made quick work. This is probably only after about 30 or so holes. The bit at the bottom has tungsten carbide teeth, and even it is showing signs of wear.
The hardest material known to man is not the diamond, as is commonly thought. It is the summertime clay soil out here in Cachagua. A 50 lb digging bar will bounce right off the surface in July. There is nothing known to man harder than Cachagua clay. Take a look at this shot of an auger I use to drill holes into the earth. The highlighted spot shows a hardened steel tooth worn round. It used to look like the other one just below it. Cachagua clay made quick work. This is probably only after about 30 or so holes. The bit at the bottom has tungsten carbide teeth, and even it is showing signs of wear.Well, a ground squirrel can cut through Cachagua Clay like scooping warm butter. With his BARE HANDS!
Originally a military genetic experiment gone awry, the first ground squirrels were engineered by military scientists to tunnel behind enemy lines while withstanding shelling and avoiding land mines. But the scientists used ordinary Cachagua tree squirrels as a base, and their Cachagua temperament turned to be too independent and ornery to make good subjects. They used their mind control powers to escape from the lab, and have been plaguing farmers since.
To the right, you can see a photo of the caverns and system of tunnels this one has been
developing at my farm. For scale, the tree trunk you see is a 50 foot old white oak. If you were to try to walk here, you could fall through. This one has been trying to sink a large propane tank on the property. Neighbors have reported sheds and houses sinking into the earth due to these unassuming critters. Once they get into the fields, forgettabotit!A new 2009 relocation program has begun. Only "residents" close to structures and the fields are participants in the program. The squirrel you saw at the top is the second "volunteer" this year. He will be moved to what is officially known as Area 42. Or what we here on the farm like to call: Squirrelville. The exact coordinates of Squirrelville must be kept top secret. This is necessary in order to avoid mass community protest and plummeting property prices in a 100 mile radius. Be it to say however, each "participant" is guaranteed a natural habitat, and plenty of clay and granite to cut. This one was released and last seen digging through a pure granite rock face, looking forward to a long happy natural life.... somewhere away from my crop! :)
1 comment:
I laughed so hard at your post! Keep it going...
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